Losing a child in any way is a difficult pill to swallow. But when you lose a child to prison, there will always be a sense of regret – and what might have been had you done something different, or acted in an alternative way. For many parents, this is a reality. A feeling of helplessness – not enviable. Now nineteen parents have revealed through app Whisper how they are coping, with some interesting results.
A few themes are common in their responses – admittedly most are negative, however there are some pragmatic individuals who see some positives in the incarceration of their children. Unfortunately, one theme which is almost entirely consistent is drugs – they clearly tear families apart when one becomes addicted to them. This is another suggestion as to why not to involve yourself in this area.
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First, the negative. One parent tells of how they lie to friends about the whereabouts of their child – so they don’t need to explain. Others shoulder the blame – one suggesting it was their fault for ‘not raising him better’. ‘Heart-broken’ and being let down are also common themes. One describes of how their child doesn’t right to them, despite their predicament. As expected, many describe how they miss their child – surely any would in this situation.
However, as mentioned, some look on it positively. Some see it as a chance for their family member to learn their lesson. With many being unreliable – one parent says that they’re pleased that at least they know the person is safe. The most positive reveal comes from one parent, who has admirably decided to raise their grandchild; Clearly wracked with guilt over their child’s incarceration, they say it is an opportunity to ‘finally get it right’. It is especially important for grandchildren to be looked after – so that hopefully they can avoid imprisonment in their life.
Reading these responses can be harrowing. It is something that no one wants to experience in their life, yet it is a harsh reality for many. One area of solace to take from this is that when the child leaves jail, it is highly likely that time will be appreciated more. Sadly, it is so often the case that something is only appreciated when it is taken away from you.