Every Single Person You’ll Meet at a House Party

House parties are often the highlight of University experiences. Whether the party sees 50 plus people converge in a tiny student flat, 100 people turning up for an ‘intimate’ gathering, or an event that is gatecrashed – where ‘thing’s just get out of hand’ – they are usually a good evening. But after attending enough of these parties, you’ll quickly realise that there is one consistency throughout all of these parties… There is always someone that fits into a certain role. This article is dedicated to this phenomena!

 

The Host

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Always appearing with a drink in their hand, they welcome their nearest and dearest with open arms. In the first hour, they are sophisticated, aiming to show off their house to everyone. They engage in topical conversation in the first hour of the night, but before long, as their alcohol consumption rises, they eventually lose control, allowing the party to descend into chaos. But still, they’ll have fun.

 

The Bull in a China Shop

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That one person who appears to break everything they touch. Everyone likes them, but you know they are a liability at any party. If you are hosting the party, you’ll generally try not to invite them – but you know they’ll appear anyway.

 

The Wifi Code Guy

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This is someone that barges in to the house party and demands the wifi code, really before saying a hello to anyone. They would dare not part with some valuable mobile data, and they go on to treat the place as an internet café. There is a good chance you’ll spot them later on in the corner, eyes glued to their phone.

 

The ‘DJ’

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The person who is responsible for the music. They might appear with speakers, high-tech equipment and the rest, but really they have no idea what they’re doing. You know they are struggling when they resort to a YouTube playlist. Before long a coup is staged, and all hell breaks loose. The music selection turns into a democracy for the rest of the night.

 

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The First Person Down…

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It is inevitable that someone won’t make it past 10pm. They either failed to pace themselves, or just got a little bit too excited. Either way, they are sent on their way to make the long walk back home. They won’t be seen for some time.

 

The Prankster

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This is that person whose idea of fun is to wreck havoc in someone else’s house. Unlike most people, they won’t go round talking to friends, offering others a drink and any other normal behaviour. Instead, they booby-trap cupboards, put clingfilm where clingfilm shouldn’t be, swap food around, and generally be an annoyance. The only question left is – who invited them?

 

The Interrogator

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This is that one person who isn’t content with a bit of small talk with strangers. This person wants to know everything about you. Who do you know at the party? When did you get here? Who is your ex? What is the meaning of life? By five minutes into the conversation, you wonder if they are undercover with the Police. Unsurprisingly, you have a sudden need to go to the bathroom.

 

Your ‘Friend’ in the Bathroom Queue

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Nothing quite bonds two strangers together like being in the same queue for the toilet. As you wait, you sympathise with one another’s plight, before going on to learn each other’s life story. During the rest of the night, the two of you share a smile or nod of appreciation each time your paths cross.

 

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The Girl Who ‘Only Smokes When She Drinks’

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This girl maintains they never smoke, unless they are within the realms of a social situation that involves alcohol. Suddenly their staunch non-smoking stance ends after one small sip of Carling. A hypocrite, and also seen outside later in the night trying to get others to give her a cigarette.

 

The One Who No one Knows

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They spend the night going from conversation to conversation, always on the periphery. They don’t really seem to know anyone. As you see them and look suspiciously in their direction, you don’t know why they are here. The truth is, they don’t know why they are here, and know that you know that they know that they don’t know why they are here. Still, that’s life.

 

The ‘Lads’

Ladsmeme

Sigh. The guys that come in smelling like they’ve just come straight from a 9 till 5 shift at the Lynx factory. They stay close to one another, never letting ‘one of the boys’ down. They spend the night attempting to prove their ‘ladishness’ to one another, which is unfortunate for the rest of the party. Always ‘out on the pull’, they are guaranteed to wake up the next morning disappointed. But don’t worry, an early morning ‘gym sesh’ will get them back in a good mood.

 

The Flirt

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This is another typical character seen at a house party. This guy moves from girl to girl, doing their best to complete their conquest. Most girls are wise enough to move away.

 

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The Binge-Drinker

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That one person who gives the entire student population of the United Kingdom a bad reputation. Every time you go into the kitchen, rest assured, they will be there – drinking anything and everything they can get their grubby hands on. They are the same person that is photographed in the early hours lying in their own vomit.

 

The Mothers Meeting

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Joining the binge-drinker in the kitchen will be a mother’s meeting – a gaggle of girls who have a nice long talk. Strangers are simply not welcomed, and the group move as one. There isn’t really that much point in them being here, but anyway.

 

The Couple

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Please. Get. A. Room.

 

The Emotional One

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As the evening becomes morning, the sensible folks – the ones that don’t really fit into any of these categories – head off home. But inevitably, there will be one girl that is surrounded by a group of others, who is very emotional. No one really knows why they are crying, they probably don’t even know why they are crying. But heck, why not make a scene?!

 


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The One Who Won’t Leave

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Each house party dies an eventual death, regardless of how fun it has been. Usually, between around 1 and 2, the host will go round and say a fond farewell to the others. But there is always that one person who won’t go, and ends up sleeping on the sofa. Not wanted of course, but they do eventually saunter off home the morning after. All that is left then, is a major clear-up for the host.

 

There is nothing like a house party! From the host to the mother’s meeting to the one who won’t leave, these characters all contribute to making a house party like nothing else. We hope you enjoyed this article. See the link below to see our entire list of articles like this!

 

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